So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
