YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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