Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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