I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just threw up on my dentist
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
