well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
