oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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