It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
