Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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