just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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