I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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