im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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