She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
