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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
