Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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