so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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