did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
