I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
