that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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