He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
