Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
