and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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