Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Text me some of your sweat
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