I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
