Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
