Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
