Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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