i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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