we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
