What a fucking waste of an outfit
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
