isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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