it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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