So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
