so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
