The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
