that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
