is your mom at the bar?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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