We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
