They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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