Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
