I like to think it a success when the cops are called
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize