I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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