i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sorry my hands just texted you
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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