Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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