TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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