it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
