If i come over, it means nothing
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
