Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
