Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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