She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
