I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
