I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
