Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize