Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
