Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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