yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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