We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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