physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I pour the whiskey from now on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
