he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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