What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we're making bets on your personal life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
