I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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