Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize