Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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