i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
