One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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