woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
BRING THE BAGELS
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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