I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Less talking, more tequila
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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