Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize