Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
