I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I touched a dick in church today
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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