sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize