Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
