What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
