Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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